192: Something Magical

self portrait

Self Portrait – V. Anderson

There’s something magical about poetry.
Everytime you don’t
write it down, it happens
to be the best.

And
and then sometimes when you do,
it just comes out like a jumble
of crashing waves.

It always comes to you when
you’re just not quite ready
and some of us even have to drag it
back in by its run-away tail.

But the other magical thing about poetry
is that not only
is it in everything, but
there’s nothing it’s not!

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173: Un/Conditional Love

I have this lover. I know that we were destined to meet because our palms bear identical lines and he is my mirror in every sense. At times he is a perfect image of me, and the rest of the time he is my perfect opposite.

However, this does not mean that our relationship is charmed, quite the contrary. You see, Hollywood taught me how to behave when a boyfriend cheated on me or didn’t get along with my best friend, but the challenges we two star-crossed lovers face are of another kind all together. For instance, today we found ourselves in the middle of a lively discussion about the nature of un/conditional love.

Struggling to express a concept I vaguely grasped, it was only a few moments before the effort brought it sharply into focus. I was left speechless at the realization that I understand more about the nature of love than I had been willing to admit. Meditating on my heart chakra, the nature of “unconditional” love always eluded me until today and now, here I am, trying to tease out the fine hairs.

Nature Never Fears

I thought I didn’t know what unconditional love was. I thought that I was utterly selfish, untrained by narcissistic and inept parents and that without an image of what that kind of love looked like, I was never going to find it showing up in my life. Well it turns out to have been there all along, I just wasn’t appreciative. It goes something like this: I am a giver. I am the friend that gets sucked dry by an insatiable desire to help others and a keen healer’s eye. My friendships have all but dissolved in the last year as I came to realize that the only thing I was receiving from them was the feeling of being needed and I sought a healthier start.

I never thought of myself as the doormat, the forgotten giving tree, or the tired old sweater – soft and comfy to the touch but the last thing you look at when a fancy prince comes to town. I knew there was nothing sustainable about this pattern of giving and never replenishing, it is inherently unbalanced. What drove this unsustainable behavior was not insanity (or maybe it was?) but unconditional love.

Sure, the extreme opposite of the sad old sweater love is giving love only when energetic compensation can be expected and that is equally shameful. No one would argue that love out of obligation is inherently less valuable, that’s for sure. But if a person finds himself making promises only to give as much love as he “is able,” does that not speak to an equally dubious condition? It says, “If I have enough energy for myself then I will give you some love in whatever form you require.” Well that is the very definition of conditional now, isn’t it? sunlovehafiz

So what’s our position on conditional love? Is it just a stepping stone to the unconditional variety? Should conditional love be looked down upon? What purpose does it serve? How can we take Mother Nature’s examples of unconditional love and feel their energy in our own lives? I am reminded of the effortless gift of sunlight which will someday drain our great star of all his life force. Does he ever ask, “What if I don’t have enough?”

I can’t tell you how interested I’d be to hear your thoughts. Don’t hesitate to chime in below!

147: Poem – You’re Fire and Water

I was born eight hours before the sun moved from Cancer into Leo. When I discovered this as a young girl, it brought me no surprise because I already knew that I had a pretty evenly split personality. The archetypes observers of the stars have whittled down into twelve astrological signs over the years only confirmed to me what I already knew from experience: that I have a sensitive, introspective, watery timid Veronica coexisting within me alongside an outgoing, social, fiery loud Veronica.

Truthfully, I think we are all microcosms of the cosmos meaning that everything outside of us can be found within; materials, processes and reactions we study outside our bodies occur within us physically and energetically. I’m sure you have felt moments of flow and moments of fiery passion in your life as well as sensed the feeling of a soaring heart or grounded stillness. These are archetypes — basic patterns recognizable across time and space — and they represent particular strengths which we can all call upon in moments of particular need.

Today I was reflecting on this duality and how it manifests directly in my life. After a few exercises in free writing and listing this poem came out. I hope you enjoy it.

 

4elements

You are FIRE:

Everything fuels your transformative blaze.
You rush through obstacles,
defying gravity and leaving in your wake
offerings of destruction.
Your actions create by subtraction
the potential to begin anew.

Your power is a burst of simplification.
You care not for blockages and erase them,
shining enlightenment outwards where
it falls upon all those in your path.

You are the one who manifests change,
the one who initiates alchemical reactions
and generates newness and growth
by the nature and force of your will.

You are WATER:

Your patient and gentle persistance
transforms the most ancient of obstacles,
revealing what is long-hidden and
polishing imperfections with your eternal flow.

You are the bringer of life,
the kindest lover who nurtures indiscriminately,
integrating and assimilating
everything in your path.

Your power is passive,
deceptively receptive yet nothing can stop you.
All of life thirsts for your inspiration and
your life-giving substance gathers at the lowest points on Earth
where you gather as the one great body
which ebbs and pulses with the graceful union
of the womb from which life first sprang.

 

P.S. I tagged this “Yoga” because yoga means union and we can bring our selves to union by naming the parts that make up our whole. What parts create the sum that is your whole being? How do you manage your personalities? Ever found the mood swings a bit of a challenge? Tell us!