Day 92: Understanding Fear

Las Palmas, Gran Canaria (c) VA

Las Palmas, Gran Canaria (c) VA

I love this affirmation because it speaks about not just fear but the nature of understanding. Our minds are like great flashlights and the power of our awareness is like shining them on any given topic to illuminate it with the entire power of our consciousness. Looking deeply is a powerful thing, a skill we can use for bad or for good in any area of our lives. It is a skill we use unconsciously (worry) and one we can use consciously (meditation) and both have the power to shape our lives (Universal Law of Attraction).

In the case of fear, we can use our powerful awareness to support its power over us, choosing to be aware of the repercussions of fear, or we can shine our awareness on the root of fear and see that it goes deeper than the mental formation called “fear” that stems from limiting beliefs and ego-driven habits. Understanding the root of our fear shows us our strengths and weaknesses and transports us to a new level of growth through the process of initiation.

Be grateful for your fears, for they are truly your greatest gifts. Be sure to treat them as such! ♥

Day 73: The Body Is A Brilliant Disguise

The word “I” is an abstraction, it is a brilliant disguise.

All words are abstractions. Here’s a TED talk to prove it. But you didn’t need me or that cute Indian man, to tell you that, it’s something you know deep inside. But as I’ve come to realize recently, there’s a difference between knowing and understanding.

This morning in meditation I realized that the times when I can’t make affirmations of my godly nature or perfect wholeness stick are the times when the abstractness of the word “I” is lost on my ego. I become wrapped up in this concrete idea of my Self and can’t even say the affirmation without disbelief or even sometimes, disdain.

Do this though: try to identify the one fixed thing that is described by the word “I”…

Did you come up with something along the lines of, “Me, this body!” That’s what I came up with too. But look at your body, which muscle is “I”? Is it your brain, your heart, your kidneys, or your liver? So tell me, which cell is “I”? It’s impossible to choose, you wouldn’t use a different word for your Self after losing an organ.

We can’t lock down a definite Self.

This is a beautiful realization. To realize that every time we use the word “I” we’re referring to a non-static, abstract, temporary collection of things is hard at first but incredibly freeing. Perhaps you don’t feel perfect right now, but if you’re able to let your Spirit talk your Ego into just two seconds of feeling perfect today, tomorrow it can be three. Next thing you know, it’s a whole day of perfection, then two, and suddenly, you understand the truth the Universe has been whispering all along.

Las Palmas, Canary Islands (c) Veronica Anderson

Las Palmas, Canary Islands (c) Veronica Anderson

Day 70: I Am A Grass Stain

Surrender

Las Palmas, Canary Islands, Spain

Surrender is not a word I admire. It doesn’t fill me with longing or desire. I am a grass stain: I work my way into the fibers of my life and stay stuck where I am.

I am, and always have been stubborn, or to paint myself in a more suave light, one might say that I am steadfast. In any event, it was so easy to believe in my own internal world that the concept of not being torn apart by loss and disappointment seemed laughable when I first encountered Thich Nhat Hanh’s teachings on being and touching peace.

Luckily, that’s where my intuition came in. I kept reading. Despite how much disdain I held for the repeated accusations that my emotions and perceptions weren’t real, I kept researching because of some quiet whisper I didn’t even acknowledge hearing.

You could say that I was steadfastly opposed to dissolving my stubbornness and in fact, that’s just what I did. Looking back on 2007 Veronica I could never have imagined understanding an affirmation like the one I have for you today but the truth is, I have come to a point where I not only understand it, but I live it.

At 23 my days are filled with worries about pain in my knee and ankle and I have learned to choose the elevator over one flight of stairs. I have to remind myself it is out of compassion for my body, not laziness, which I am sure the old ladies must presume, judging by their looks. My heart weeps for the loss of my physical freedom, but my spirit laughs with the magic of finding happiness among such despair. If I were perfectly healthy, I wouldn’t know the sweetness of a cold pack of veggies on an inflamed knee.

What does your heart weep for that simultaneously makes your soul sing? What things are you steadfast about?