139: Loving Change (For The Weird People)

rom the "Humans of New York" project: "I have this theory. You ready? So we are on earth for a finite amount of time. And time is a manmade perception. And we perceive time passing through change-- seasons, aging, things like that. So to expand our time on earth, we must incite as much change in our lives as possible." "Interesting. I haven't heard that before." "That's because I made it up!"

From the “Humans of New York” project: “I have this theory. You ready? So we are on earth for a finite amount of time. And time is a manmade perception. And we perceive time passing through change– seasons, aging, things like that. So to expand our time on earth, we must incite as much change in our lives as possible.” “Interesting. I haven’t heard that before.” “That’s because I made it up!”

I am weird. Perhaps you observed this already but I bet you didn’t know how proud I am to be different and I bet you didn’t know that unlike most humans, I love change.

I don’t struggle with fearing change but that does not necessarily make my life any easier, I have a different struggle. This weirdness I love is a double edged sword. It makes me unique but also makes solving my issues more challenging because the advice to do so is not readily available and so I present a post to combat that imbalance. I hate imbalance. Let’s see what we can do for the weird people, shall we?

Whenever I see posts about change float across my inspiration feed (Facebook, blogs, books, etc.) they are almost exclusively about reminding people to accept change and go with the flow. Now I have realized, there is another side of change that ones of us prone to depression would be better advised to study. The masses are familiar with the idea that only constant is change but the reverse which we don’t discuss is the idea that whatever heaviness or pain you feel today, must eventually go away.

I have some injuries in my leg that have been a daily struggle for the last seven years. I find myself praying for change, my biggest fears are not at all related to the stuck-ness so many self-help gurus are speaking out against. Actually, what’s stuck is the idea that I’ll always be in pain, that at 16 my life ended and the new one built around pain began. I fear change will never come. Do you? I named this fear a week ago and since then, a whole new part of my being lit up and I felt energy flowing where I had never felt it before.

Here’s the thing: I don’t really know what to do about this fear other than naming it. It’s silly, I know change is constant and nothing lasts forever but fears are never logical. Actually, from past experience facing fears I know that this naming is half the battle but now that I’ve discovered the entrance to this deep well, I know there is a long way down left to climb. Using some of my favorite teachers’ advice, I’ve tried to identify the place in my physical body where I feel that fear. It’s in my stomach, the place identified as the third chakra. When I start to feel nauseous and unmotivated I look into this pain and ask it: what have you come to teach me? Since the third chakra is located at the solar plexus (the word solar=sun) where our power and fire is generated from, I have been reminding myself of my own ability to co-create change in my life with the help of energy from God/Nature/The Universe/Angels. Even the biggest clouds can be seen moving across the sky.

Here’s a mantra that just came to me from last week:

My energy is the energy of the universe.
My power is my own.

What do you love about change? What are you learning to love about change (i.e. things you might describe with that h-a-t-e word)? Was there a point in your life when change took on a new meaning for you? Share your experiences with change below!

128: Getting To The Root Of The Babbler

candlesThe babbler is the one who is ruining your meditations. The babbler is the one who brings up your to-do lists, memories and plans for the future and uses the emotions tied to them to distract you from concentration, regardless of how dedicated you are. It’s the fault of the babbler that so many people think they are no good at meditation. Last night I had a close encounter with the root of this voice and I want to talk about it. [Also, this is the first post I’ve worked on for more than a day during this challenge.] I’ve spent many hard months learning to call upon my babbler by many different names… “inner voice”…”ego”…”Little Veronica”… they all helped for a while, each led me to know some small part of where these natural distractions are coming from. Let’s take a deeper look.

Close your eyes (at the end of this paragraph, obviously) and imagine a lake. The surface is wavy and wind stirs up the water making it choppy and tumultuous, unable to reflect the images of fluffy clouds drifting across a blue sky. Now sink deeper into the water. As you move down towards the center of the earth, note the increasing stillness of the heavy, almost solid water. When you get to the bottom of the lake, the water will be motionless and you will feel one with the silent stillness. (Now’s the time to take three breaths and visualize this progression.)

Beneath the memories of missed opportunities and awkward moments that float across the surface of my mind-pond, last night I decided to sink down (as I do many nights) to find stillness; however, tonight was different because I realized that as I moved down, I was also somehow moving to the root of these distracting thoughts, and quickly I found myself at the bottom of the lake, facing my ego.

At the tranquil bottom of a pond that seemed so crazy and unsettled, I saw that this gentle creature, so often demonized by cries of, “Kill the ego! Lose it! Forget about it!” was actually just very humbly working in overdrive to keep my special self alive. Little Veronica was overwhelmed by fear and constantly asking what she could do to feel safer and more secure, constantly scanning the area for threats to her peace and joy. This searching and asking is the voice of the babbler and this voice is formed when we are small, bearing appropriate fear and love tendencies related to our childhood environments.

This fearful creature inside all of us lives alongside the peaceful and joyful internal presence we call the spirit. The act of meditation is training the babbler how to sit quietly and recognize that s/he needn’t be active all the time, that the work of surviving can be shared. It’s no coincidence that society has increased difficulty teaching our children the habit of stillness and that stress runs rampant in adults and despite increased scientific evidence of its benefits, so few people find they can sustain a meditation practice.

It’s my hope that with an awareness of where these thoughts come from we can all view their arising not as a failure to meditate, but a good sign, a clue that will lead us to the root of the babbling, the end of the treasure hunt, and along the path to stillness.

pond (1)

The mantra is the mirror which reflects your mental formations as you seek deeper into yourself.

Have you been to the bottom of the pond before? What’s it like at the root of your thoughts? How do you get there? Is the babbler your friend or your enemy or even, your frienemy? How do you feel when thoughts, dreams, emotions and feelings drift across the your surface?

120: Activating Creativity & Wisdom

The flow of energy up the spine from the root to the brain where consciousness lives must first cross the bridge from the heart to the head. This makes the throat an incredible touch stone of power and creativity. Opening the flow of energy here allows us to move between the physical and nonphysical and express what we make of that eternal oscillation. Speaking our truths is the quickest way to spread our innate divine light and share our gifts with the world. I invite you to experience this meditation to affirm your power to do just that…

 

Next, you are invited to use the power to speak your truth to communicate with your inner wisdom and make the flow of life balanced between the physical and eternal. Some of us are born with the third eye open and it guides us through challenges effortlessly until our lives and loves teach us fear and separation and this chakra closes up. We all have the ability to strengthen the flow of energy through the space in the front of our brains, between our two physical eyes, and I would like to share a process taught to me by renowned intuitive author, Sofia

1. Come back to the present moment and feel it. Set the intention to be receptive and notice how the “right-wrong” paradigm is dualistic and biased. Choose to receive information about what’s true for you instead of what’s right.

2. What can you see? Shift your attention to diffuse and immersed instead of narrow and focused. This is called Open Focus and activates synchronous brain waves which scientists have connected to a state of well-being and flow.

3. What are you afraid of in this situation? Acknowledge fears and name them as they rise up. Continue to answer the question until they stop flowing, and they will. Realize that all fear comes from the misconception that you are a discrete entity, separated from the rest of the universe.

4. Trust that intuition is always with you and your inner wisdom will speak in a way that physically feels relaxed and true. Once you’ve become detached from the idea of a “correct” answer, your inner wisdom will speak in a way unique to you.

Intuition comes alive when we listen deeply. (1) Today in the stillness of meditation as we quietly listen, we awaken and invite a powerful shift into our lives. (2) The fog of confusion begins to clear, we can see where we are going, and discover our true purpose. It is easier to make decisions when we have comprehensive vision—when we can trust ourselves and the universe. (3) Our meditation today will align us with this ever-present source, lighting our path each step of the way. (4)    -Deepak Chopra